Rethinking Depression.
By Eric Maisel.
How to Shed Mental Health Labels and Create Personal Meaning.
Last year I bought ‘The Great book of Journaling’ co-authored by Eric Maisel, and that led me onto reading up about him. He is a prolific writer; the author of over 50 books including non-fiction, fiction, journals, meditation decks and a home study course. This title stood out for me, and I ordered it online. When I received it, I read it in almost one sitting. We all have experience in suffering from bouts of great sadness. There is so much that makes sense in this book for me, but most of all it is the belief that each of us are responsible for the days that we design. By and large their contents are our creation, and our responsibility. The sense of ownership and control that this realization can bring may well be the antidote to relying on medication to treat sadness, and more on our own efforts.
In Eric’s words: ‘You choose to make explicit the relationship you intend to have with life.’
Eric makes the case that the experience of emotional pain and difficulty, even though it may be severe or long lasting, is not proof of a mental ‘disease or disorder’. People need their freedom to feel miserable back. Perhaps by dispensing with the depression label more, they would find themselves much better able to deal with their profound and perhaps chronic and systemic unhappiness. These can be controversial concepts, but by keeping an open mind, it may be possible to shed some of the mental health labels, and create personal meaning.
PART 1: RETHINKING DEPRESSION
Chapter 1: Creating mental disorders
Anxiety in many situations as common, understandable and normal; and should not be used as evidence of a mental disorder… just by virtue of the anxiety being unwanted.
Unwanted does not equal abnormal, and it is a mistake to make unwanted aspects of life the symptoms of a mental disorder; for example: sleeping too much, eating too much, performing carelessly at your day job or not making progress on your goals.
Unhappiness can be a normal reaction to unpleasant facts and circumstances.
Chapter 2: What do treatments really do?
There are no specific treatments for each different mental disorder, which leaves this open to interpretation or preference of a favourite method by a professional.
Antidepressants are popular, but not always helpful – success is considered just a 50% improvement in half of depressive symptoms, achieved in less than half of the patients’ taking the medication.
Multiple studies indicate that a large component of drug effectiveness may be the placebo effect.
Chemicals in medication have effect, and they can also alter human beings experience of life. The fact that a chemical can change your mood does not constitute proof that you have mental disorder. All it proves is that chemicals can affect moods.
An antidepressant may elevate your mood and rid you of symptoms, with side effects – and provide a respite from unhappiness. But that does not mean they are a treatment.
he fact that talking (therapy) improves one’s mood is not proof of the existence of a mental disorder called depression. It helps to talk about problems, get advice, act on that advice, and feel supported by another person.
Chapter 3: Reasons why people believe that ‘depression’ exists
There are many questions to consider covered in this chapter that are thought provoking – here are just a few of them:
‘Depression’ is everywhere. It is epidemic. Perhaps we see a great many unhappy people, in varying degrees, who are willing to categorize this unhappiness as a mental disorder. If mental health professionals say that such a disorder exists, mustn’t it exist? Isn’t the fact that countless books, articles, websites say that such a disorder exists, proof that it exists? Since drugs exist for treatment, doesn’t it make sense to presume that it is a medical condition? Something is going on; and it seems to be a lot of human unhappiness. So, what can be done to alleviate sadness?
PART 2: YOUR EXISTENTIAL PLAN
Chapter 4: The existential ideal and its reality
A creature with consciousness can’t always feel happy.
Sometimes we get unhappy with ourselves (we are not doing enough; what we are accomplishing is not on the right level; our behaviour is out of control; or we have made decisions that we regret).
Sometimes we are unhappy with others; or our circumstances with life itself (winter is too long, a bank account is too small, too many bills to pay).
This can results can be insomnia, tiredness, irritability and unhappiness.
But, the gloom can lift! Either of its own accord, or because you have a strong existential program in place whereby you pay more attention to your intentions then your mood.
It is mature and truthful to accept that the reality of unhappiness can cloud a day, a year or a decade. This does not make us disordered.
If you lead a live based on existential ideals, you take as much control as possible of your thoughts, your attitudes, your moods, your behaviours, and your orientation towards life. You turn your innate freedom into a virtue and blessing.
Eric notes that all of this is hard work, and inconveniently difficult.
he the program detailed in the book may be appealing in the reading, but difficult in the implementing.
Living authentically means organizing your life around the answers to 3 questions:
1. What matters to you?
2. Are your thoughts aligned with what matters to you?
3. Are your behaviours aligned with what matters to you?
Even if you decide to take antidepressants, or engage in psychotherapy to get help with your unhappiness, you will still have to find ways of dealing with:
· Your meaning needs
· The shadows of your personality
· Your consciousness of mortality
· The facts of existence
Chapters 5 to 24 of this book each contain a step of Maisel’s existential plan to increase meaning and reduce unhappiness. I have summarized them as key steps below, but it is well worth reading the full book to gain added value and motivation from the detail.
Step 1: You look life in the eye
Admit your feelings, circumstances, and the way things are, and then go about making a better life for yourself.
Do it so that you can arrive at your own truth and make the best possible decisions about how you want to live.
Step 2: You investigate meaning
Meaning is a subjective psychological experience – it is private, personal and individual.
Meaning is not ‘out there somewhere’. It is something that each of us identify for ourselves.
By understanding what meaning means to us, we can proceed to our lives in ways that feel personally meaningful.
Step 3: You decide to matter
Decide: What I do matters to me. I matter to me.
We have been given life. We can choose how we live. While I am alive I can love/ live/ learn/ laugh.
You must care about you, and so you must decide to matter.
Step 4: You accept your obligation to make meaning
We each get to decide what will make us feel righteous and happy.
You, and you alone, are the soul creator of the meaning in your life.
As long as you prefer not to take responsibility for your life, you will sprint away from the idea of making meaning.
To live as the hero of your own story, despite ongoing challenges, brings a sense of dignity, accomplishment, and the experience of real joy.
Step 5: You decide how to matter
It’s about making choices about how to move forward in your life.
You weigh your actions against the vision you have of the person who would like to be, and take action. Then you learn from the experience to what extent you guessed right, and make use of what you have learned to make your decisions.
Step 6: You honour your wants, needs and values
You step back, honour life’s complexities and contradictions, and plot your life course, by making decisions.
We all have values that are important to us, if we take the time to think about them and identify them.
This chapter contains a thought-provoking list of values for consideration.
Step 7: You create a life purpose vision
Start with just a sentence that contains the key values you want to uphold, and the vision you have for conducting yourself in the world.
It can be as simple as ‘I want to be the best possible.’
It’s almost like a vow to yourself, about how you choose to live.
Examples:
o I own myself.
o Action and satisfaction, today and every day.
o Passion and presence, courage and conviction.
o I take pride and working with my hands, and doing the right thing.
Use your vision as a guide for decision-making and let it become an inner template by which you measure life.
Step 8: You use your existential intelligence
Howard Gardner presented that people possess several intelligences: they can be smart with words, numbers, pictures, body, music, people, self and nature.
Existential intelligence is the part of us that concerns itself with what matters. It’s an ability to step back and reason our way through questions of meaning.
You reduce your experience of happiness by using your existential intelligence to think and grow.
Step 9: You focus on meaning rather than mood
Checking in on our moods is a choice, which can be unnecessary and unfortunate.
We tend to focus on moods more when things are not going well.
Focus on meaning rather than monitoring moods, and your experience of unhappiness will reduce.
Step 10: You snap out of a trance
We ‘go through the motions’ to defend ourselves from the reality of our situations; be it our experience of work, chaos at home, concern over finances etc.
We buy things to solve perceived problems, and overindulge for the same reason.
These trances result in a booming industry around personal unhappiness, and we need to lift our heads and look to recognize this.
Step 11: You reckon with the facts of existence
Pay attention to the facts of existence, as someone devoted to the project of building a life:
o What constrains you
o What affects you
o Forces aligned against you
o The way culture pressure you to conform
o What matters to you
It’s about reckoning with the concrete facts that impinge your existence i.e. a natural disaster; an illness; an accident.
How will you cross the river on whose bank you stand? The river is real; and there are many ways to cross it.
Step 12: You personalize a vocabulary of meaning
Cultivate a positive and realistic vocabulary that permits you to communicate with yourself and others about the meaning realities of your life.
Different ways of framing things:
o Making meaning (taking responsibility)
o Meaning investment (where and how to allocate effort)
o Meaning opportunity (looking for new avenues of meaning as things change)
o Meaning crisis (recognize and employ a meaning repair strategy)
o Meaning repair (learn what to do to reinstate meaning)
Step 13: You incant meaning
This is a tactical concrete action to protect and deepen meaning; create space and prevent panic.
Use short breath and thought bundles to remind you of your meaning intentions.
These are personal and involve breathing in for half the sentence and breathing out for the second half.
Examples:
o I can handle meaning crises.
o I have energy and passion.
o I can live with doubt.
o I accept the consequences.
Step 14: You maintain a morning meaning practice
Keep it simple – decide how, where and when you will make meaning today, and allow for gaps with no meaning pressure.
Craft your own routine, and touch base with your life vision.
Remember to also invest meaning in ordinary events.
Step 15: You negotiate each day
When they’re going gets hard, remind yourself of the meaningfulness of your work.
A day is a creation, not a given.
Look for creating a meaning opportunity out of something that can’t be avoided, if you need to.
Meaning is available to us if we choose to seek it.
Step 16: You seize meaning opportunities
Almost anything can be experienced as meaningful, if that is your lens.
Opportunities: love, good work, creativity, excellence, relationships, stewardship, experimentation, pleasure, self-actualization, service, career, attitude, achievement and appreciation.
Step 17: You handle meaning crises
These are inevitable and can cause profound unhappiness.
When meaning leaks away you must decide what tactics (existential, cognitive, behaviour) you will employee to plug the leak, and restore meaning.
These include: consciously trying to make the best of something; trying to reframe the situation; making changes that you hope will improve the situation; trying something new over there while making do over here; or getting out of the current situation with a plan in place.
By considering these different angles, and trial and error, you will handle the crisis.
Step 18: You engage in existential self-care
If you believe your life to be basically meaningful, it is always possible to find clarity and order in times of chaos.
Create a life by including regular experiences of meaningfulness.
Each day, wake up knowing where you want to invest your time.
Step 19: You engage in cognitive self-care
What do you think determines how you feel.
If it serves you, keep it. If it does not serve you, reject it. Who else can do that for you?
Try to identify the thoughts that create your unhappiness.
You can decide to THINK, rather than have thoughts.
Speak to yourself in productive ways, and then align your behaviours with your upgraded thinking.
Step 20: You engage in behavioural self-care
You decide how you will behave by first alligning your thoughts with your intentions.
Action requires effort, focus and resolve.
Day in and day out you can choose to act in ways that amount to real effort, and realize real results.
Our lives are our projects, and we must equip ourselves to deal with the rigours of living.
Eric urges us not to allow excuses to prevent us from taking action. Ask: How shall I live? And then answer the question through daily actions.
Finally he says: ‘If you happen not to like my program, create your own. It won’t suffice to do nothing.’
The decision to act is ours; and the results are ours to own.
Photo by SANKALP SURADKAR on Unsplash